I LOST MY MOJO...

Yep, that’s right...I lost my mojo. I lost that spark, energy and love of life for a span of weeks. How did it happen? It sort of crept up on me, unannounced but when it arrived...BAM! 

...like a bucket of ice cold water dumped over my head and an anchor tied around my body weighing me down.

And it sucked the life out of me. The harder I tried to dig out, the worse I felt. The little voice in my head, actually at this point, the loud and obnoxious voice was berating me for being mojoless...specially since I have many ‘tools’ at my disposal to get out of the quicksand of boredom and despair...the same tools I recommend to my clients...And there it was, I was so caught up in ‘doing’ and ‘getting’ that I forgot to walk my talk.

How did this happen?!

In the process of growing my business, I was absorbing obscenely large amounts of   business seminars, videos, tele-seminars and newsletters. Anything and everything under the sun to find my niche, market to my niche, come up with ‘give aways,’ and the many mantras recited and vision boards created to ‘work’ The Law of Attraction. Add to this, keeping up with new information in health coaching and energy healing, being an awesome mother and friend. In all this doing, I forgot the most important person in this equation, ME! 

Forced to slow down and move at a slower pace because of the delicious heat. I stopped, I took a deep breath and I looked around. With my daughter in summer camp really enjoying summer and having fun, I decided to create my own summer camp, a sort of vacation. Which for those of us who are our own boss, is tricky to pull off. Yes, we have flexible schedules but we also end up working really late at night in front of our computers. For most of us actual human contact comes from our family members or the various check-out people at the supermarket or pharmacy because everything we do is in front of the computer or on the phone.

There really is no excuse for me not to take advantage of the fact that I live in paradise...beautiful beaches, gorgeous palm trees, water all around, sultry evenings and international friends.  As I let the idea of being on vacation in my own home town sink in, I sat down and wrote a list of all the fun things I could do. And then I scheduled one activity each day. It took me almost two weeks to decompress...to really feel relaxed, lighter and to smile from my heart again. I see why in many European countries, people take three consecutive weeks off from work. It makes sense since the first week or so, you’re catching up on your sleep, remembering to breathe from your belly and noticing that there are other people on the planet. Then after that, you start feeling alive again, all your senses are happily buzzing, you’re finally breathing all of life in, fully and deeply.

I lost my mojo and then I rediscovered it walking on the beach at sundown...sitting in a quiet and cool movie theater in the middle of the day. I found my mojo sleeping-in late and then heading to the beach to sit under an umbrella for hours reading a trashy novel and books by Marianne Williamson. I surrendered to just BEING here now, not in the past or not in the future. In the beginning not ‘doing’ anything and surrendering was hard. I felt like I was forgetting to do something. You know what I mean...you keep ‘so busy’ that when you stop, you don’t know what to do with yourself. You try to fill the empty spaces just in case those thoughts you've been ignoring don't come crashing to the surface. We are all great at the art of keeping busy, busy, busy so that we push away our thoughts...even the pearls of our own Divine wisdom that guide us. I surrendered to these thoughts, I let them flow, I gave myself permission to just be. And in that process, I surrendered to receiving. As a health counselor, energy healer and mother, I’m always giving and not giving myself the space to receive. 

I found the rest of my mojo in receiving from other healers. Healing in the form of facials, massages, energy healing sessions, acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine treatments. This may sound corny but when I made the last of my mojo replenishing appointments with the Chinese Medicine doctor, my soul jumped for joy, I felt at home and taken care of. I was honoring myself taking care of my mind, body and spirit...so that hopefully, I can be of better service to my clients, my family and my friends.

I know what you’re thinking....it’s easy to find your mojo if you have money. I also know that if you’re creative enough or are on the right lists like Living Social or Groupon, you can take advantage of the many spa deals they have. Also, many massage schools offer inexpensive massages by their students. And if you live in Miami, you can take advantage of spa month until the end of August. Or head over to the mall or nail salon  and get a chair massage. There is always a way...

Do you know where your mojo is?

Our Deepest Fear...

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? 

Actually, who are you not to be? 

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 

Excerpted from A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles, 

by Marianne Williamson.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure...” YES! I’ve felt this way many times...where I want to run and hide! But I can’t because I’m committed to living my truth, however that shows up. It was right about the time I was ‘thinking’ of starting this blog. I asked my self, “Who am I to have a blog? Why would I want to expose myself? Why would I want to be so transparent? Because in my  transparency, I am vulnerable, I am real, I am POWERFUL beyond measure. In my  transparency, I own who I really am at my core...pure Spirit living a human experience.

My Spirit cannot be contained, it loves adventure. Even if I try to “shrink,” it won’t let me. It’s more painful to try to shrink and hide then to go for it and live BIG. Scary as hell to own this fully but if I hadn’t, I would never have jumped out of a plane, signed up for Landmark Education, taken a helicopter lesson which was amazing! I would never have  gone to the gun range by myself or gotten some basic Black Ops training and Krav Maga lessons, thank you Vegas! I would not have signed up to be a mother, by far the hardest yet most rewarding adventure ever. I would not be outing myself as a gifted Angel Card reader and intuitive healer and channel. I would not have said, "Yes" to an impromptu interview as a health expert by Channel 10. If I wanted to hide, I would not have a pink feather boa in the front passenger side of my car as a reminder that I AM wildly feminine. My desire is to serve....to serve as a holistic health/lifestyle counselor. My mission is to help people live juicer and healthier lives, to let their own light shine and to get out of their own way, on their path to greatness and living a fabulous life.

We are meant to embrace every aspect of ourselves. If I let my fear of what others thought stop me from going for things that light me up, I would never have experienced the many amazing this I’ve done so far in my life. Many of those experiences could be deemed “male” activities. Coming from a Latin culture, there are certain things women don’t do otherwise you’ll be labeled as either butch, a loose woman, undesirable or all of the above and then some. But there’s something inside of me that is bigger than all that cultural BS and needs to come out. Conformity is not my strong suit. Looking back, it never was...I just got side track somewhere in my twenties to “fit” into a certain vision of what woman is in our culture. I always fought back and when I felt the battle was greater than myself, I became numb. I was living a “pod people” life. You know...when you are walking around smiling to the world but inside you are screaming to get out. You want to crawl out of your skin, you want to rip off the fake body suit you are suctioned into...anything to be free of the mask, free to live your authentic self...you are so desperate to pull yourself out of the abyss of nothingness that numbness makes you feel. It only took one word, one person, a life changing moment, a small ray of hope to “plug” me back to reality. My willingness to be ME again(at all costs) and not live in fear of my greatness lead me to Regena Thomashauer aka Mama Gena.

Regena and The School of Womanly Arts woke me up from my stupor and broke me out of my numbness and reminded me to be apologetically ME...the dynamic, powerful and confident woman I was in my teenage years and in my early twenties...if I had kept “shrinking” to fit what a woman is “suppose” to be and not let my own light shine, I would not be the woman I am now, dynamic, confident, ecstatic, fun and alive living an amazing fabulous life. Thank you Regena! Because of you, if I falter or waver in my living BIG, there is a community of women ready to catch me and hold my hand as I steady myself and keep flying towards my dreams.

I desire to continue playing BIG! 

I desire to play BIG in all areas of my life. Despite how scary that might seem...actually it’s scarier to live a life of regret...I desire to play full out, balls to the wall or in my case, ovaries...

Who wants to join me?!

These two songs are in my living BIG play list that gets me going in the morning....

and yes, the rest is still Unwritten....

and yes, I AM a FIREWORK, baby...

in love and pleasure,

Margarita

The Twinkie Angel

It's A Wonderful Life!

Inspired by my friend, Kate and her blog, who was inspired by Seth Godin’s blog, I decided to make a list of my accomplishments both big and small in 2010. 

Every year when December rolls around, I wonder where the year went. Then my next thought is that I didn’t do anything “worthwhile” in the past year. Call it short term memory or that for a split second, I “think” my accomplishments are not noteworthy. Like they need to be in a magazine or something for them to be worthy of my recognition...

As I was writing my list, the movie, It’s a Wonderful Life popped into my head. One of my all time favorites! It’s an old black & white film, starring Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed. In the movie, Jimmy Stewart plays George Bailey. At the beginning of the movie, after a serious of unfortunate events, George decides to take his own life by jumping off a bridge on Christmas Eve. Just as he's about to jump, his guardian angel appears and shows him how life would be in Bedford Falls, if he'd never been born. With the help of Clarence, his guardian angel, George realizes that by being alive, he’s enriched the lives of many people. He is able to see that the "small" things he did every day, had a major impact on the lives of everyone around him.  Check out the clip below of the last scene in the movie.  
Every time we make eye contact, every smile, every moment we take the time to connect with another human being or don’t, has an effect...

Really, how silly of me to think I hadn’t done anything worthwhile with my year. But these are the thoughts that we sometimes choose to believe....thoughts that can diminish our self esteem, if we allow them to take root in our mind. Our accomplishments are unique to each of us, big or small. We all have our own unique purpose. Whether it’s being the best mother, teacher, singer or bartender. We can’t compare ourselves to others and deem ourselves less worthy because of the jobs we hold or the titles we have. 

Here’s to LIVING and not just merely existing, done my way....

• I made my daughter smile many times...really priceless.
• I listened with undivided attention to friends who just needed to vent, no judgment. 
• I let myself be vulnerable and accept help when it was offered.
• I officially became a Board Certified Holistic Health Counselor.
• I became a member of the American Association of Drugless Practitioners. 
• I started a newsletter on healthy eating, juicy living and guilt free self care.
• I started this blog...which I never thought I would, thanks Catherine!
• I started surfing again, because I got a surfboard for Christmas...thanks to "The Dude"!
• I gifted my self a helicopter lesson! I get to scratch this one and the one below from my bucket list!!!
• I gifted my self a Nascar lesson with track time. I can't wait!

I realize I have been “living” a very full life, complete with amazing accomplishments, big and small. I’ve grown and become a better person, friend, mother, daughter and woman. I’ve learned so much from my triumphs as well as my “failures,” which are great opportunities for growth. With all it’s ups and downs, I wouldn’t change a thing. Living to me means, fully feeling every emotion...being able to sit with the rawness and vulnerability of living your truth no matter who it pisses off and how you are judged. It’s not for the faint of heart but that doesn’t mean that only a handful of people have been given the courage to do it. We ALL posses the ability to live the life of our dreams...

Are you living or just existing?

Are you living the life of your dreams?

If you are not, why are YOU stopping yourself from doing so? 

What is your DREAM? 

in love and pleasure,

Margarita
The Twinkie Angel